Peace and quiet. These two things are noticeably lacking from my life. It would be easy to find blame. I’m married and have a two-year-old daughter so things are rarely still around the house. I also teach high school, so I’m constantly surrounded by the buzz of adolescent drama. I volunteer, go to church, I’m involved in a small group, etc. All of these are perfectly logical explanations for the lack of solitude in my life. Yet, were I to be really honest, the problem isn’t my surroundings, it’s me. I choose to be busy. I choose to be distracted. The car radio doesn’t turn itself on, I do that. Often times I don’t even listen to what is being said; I just enjoy the noise. I literally can’t even sit on the can anymore without feeling the need to pull out my cell phone and check something. Email, Sports Center, Facebook, Instagram, the weather, anything, as long as it means I don’t have to be still. Solitude has become the enemy. Something to be avoided at all costs.
What am I afraid of?
To be fair, it’s not always a conscious decision on my part. I don’t sit around saying, “You know what? I could really use some more noise in my life.” Does that make it better? Or, is it worse that my subconscious is screaming out to be distracted. That, without even knowing it, I’m positioning myself in a way that will make it incredibly difficult for me to hear from God. Scripture says to, “Be still and know that I am God.” My experience is that the Holy Spirit does not typically speak through a megaphone, but a still small voice. The question is not, “Will the Spirit speak to me.” But rather, “Will I be able to hear His voice over the noise of my life?”